I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
