Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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