i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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