Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
