I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
