Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
