Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
