U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
