if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
