I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
