Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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