my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
