Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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