if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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