So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
