ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
