I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
