i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
