white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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