tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
