sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
