I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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