How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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