Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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