i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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