You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
