You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
