Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
