i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
