Already got asked if we're dating
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
