Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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