I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
