I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
