I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
PANTIES FOUND
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
