Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
