You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i need some magic done to my vagina
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
