i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Randomize
