She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have aggressive nipples.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
