Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
