The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
