So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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