She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
