we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
