The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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