So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
