No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
