so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
