my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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