There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
