somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
