Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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