I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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