That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Send help, water and tortillas.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
